i was born in west virginia the first day of 1976. there was a bomb threat at the hospital the evening of my birth. so the story goes that my dad went to move the car and came back to find himself locked out of the building. nothing blew up. i grew up as the first child in a family of 3. i have a younger sister (born in 1979) and a younger brother (born in 1984). my parents lost a child before i was born. in the last couple of years they have decided to name her heather, though they never got to see her. i was tall, skinny, and awkward. i had a speech impediment. none of this helped me feel okay at school. i was always unsure of myself. i had friends up through middle school and then found it hard to find my place in high school. i ate lunch alone alot. i spent almost as much time in a church building as i did in a school building. there i felt valuable. i was able to contribute. i was very good at memorizing parts of the bible. by the time i was in high school i was asked to teach in some adult sunday school classes. i am very familiar with church language and customs. buildings with steeples have become a second home to me. along with all this knowledge came a ton of questions. why were christians so hateful sometimes? why did we have a grand piano in the sanctuary when some of our neighbors had no shoes, or food? why did we dress up so nicely on easter? i needed a safe place to ask these dangerous questions. im not sure i always found it within the church building.
i did find that place amongst friends in college in virginia, however. they had the same questions and less shame in voicing them. we were radicals trying to figure out the meaning of life, and how to find the right girl, all at the same time. many days ended with 4 am waffle house conversations on existential philosophy and the place of the christian conversation in epistemology. it was great. it was there that i decided that my voice would be best used within teenage communities. i was passionate about that side of life. breakneck speed devotion, struggling towards non-conformity, and asking dangerous questions. that was my tribe, those were my people. they still are. and so i prepared professionally for life with teenagers and Jesus.
in the midst of all of this i discovered the internet. and on the internet i discovered chatrooms. and in those chatrooms i discovered girls. i found that it was much easier to be sophisticated and suave when you didnt have to look anyone in the eye, …or comb your hair. i snagged one. she was from florida and had the personality of the sun, blazing intensity and unable to ignore when shining. we decided that we wanted to meet each other, we had talked ourselves out of words in the two months since we had met online. we met in west virginia on dec. 31, 1996. she flew in. there was a camera crew present at the airport reporting on weather conditions. someone from her flight snitched to them and said that we had met on the internet and were meeting for the first time in person. they asked us for an interview. we felt there was nothing more appropriate than a news interview on a first date. we met each other, and the whole tri-state area met our story. we still have it on tape. her name is lisa. we got married on july 25, 1998, news cameras not invited. we will celebrate 10 years this july.
i moved to orlando when we got married. i liked florida. it was difficult finding a job in my baptist tradition, probably because really at heart i was no longer a baptist. it was probably obvious. so while looking for a job, i worked full-time as a substitute teacher. this was almost a better education than my 4 year degree. i taught kindergarten through 12th grade. i taught every exceptional education class, phys ed., art, and band (where they mainly asked me to show movies). i was in some classes for only a day and others for 3 months in a row. it was while teaching that someone told me about college park united methodist church and their search for a part-time youth pastor. i applied and got the job. since it was still part-time, i taught during the day and pastored at night. we weren’t rolling in the dough though. they asked me to go full-time. i said yes. i was there for a few years.
as with all chapters, the page turned on that one and we decided to multi-task and move to new port richey (north of tampa) and have a baby all at the same time. our son gavin mikel was born. the next dad we woke up in the hospital and people were flying planes into two towers in nyc. we celebrated life while others were mourning. it was not how we had imagined it to be. i was a young dad. i was becoming an old youth pastor. i served on staff at an interesting united methodist church in new port richey for about 4 years. the congregation was still fairly new and they were very okay with being different. i was okay with that too.
as i said before, nothing lasts forever. in 2005 we decided that our season in new port richey was drawing to a close. always a creature of habit we decided to have another baby during the transition to atlanta. we named #2 liam kye (gavin provided the middle name) he was not like his older brother, or me. it is interesting watching a non-you discover the world. they are good teachers, and i am sometimes an attentive pupil.
this is the chapter i found myself in as i write my story. i am a husband, a dad, a brother, a son, and a spiritual director of teenagers in intown atlanta. i write, paint, read, play guitar, and enjoy anything that cultivates creativity. i am still a nonconformist and have even more questions than i did at the beginning. i’m just less worried about finding all the answers. this year i am focused on creativity, health (joined a gym), simplicity, and friendship. i’ll let you know when the pages turn again. —M@